First post

 Feeling super manic, as though I want to turn the sword on myself. It's an exhilarating feeling to die. Have done mortification today for over 24 hours. That's an almost daily thing. I no longer get that drop in blood pressure. Ate a heavy split pea soup tonight. Working on the penultimate phase of the project where I'm to log over 100,000 words prior to doing the last phase of the project (besides proving it)

That translation was something profound. I saw the title of the book. It was so audacious, masculine, and sexy. I felt called by God to do it. It was all a leap of faith. 

I'll discuss the many miracles that have transpired. It often brings me to tears during my work. I think about Saint Joan of Arc. I laid my 19th-Century cross on her picture. She sacrificed herself to manifest God's will in history. 

I need to get back to work. When I'm done with this project, I'm going to have myself be branded with the Cross of Lorraine on my right wrist. I told a friend tonight whom I have not written in a few months what has been going on. I felt this eerie stigmata of sorts for three days on my right wrist. It was burning, gray, and lasted for 3 days - having thought about it, as long as Christ took to be resurrected. Now, I had the intention of getting this branding, only on the condition that this project be done first. That burning sensation was a line along my vein. It told me how long the cross is to be

That brand will be hot. I will not scream in pain. I promise not to. Just as Saint Joan did not. She cried Jesus six times, then went to the Kingdom of Heaven. It will burn my flesh permanently. It's my fulfillment of a 10 year project

I left behind everything to do it. I left school, my debts, my family (I slept in the woods and in church gardens for months), and typed the entire book from there into my computer. I edited what I did years later. There were very few errors. That took me 3 months. And a miracle happened too when a pastor from a church that was to look out for poor students lied to put me in a mental institution. Just a brief prison stay, I guess. I met someone who studied theology the night of my release. He explained to me why the Episcopalians felt threatened. It was crazy. I got delivered from that poverty. More on that later. That was also a miracle. 

My intention is to give an account for what I did and the miracles that transpired. The world might end one day. We saw it in the fallout of the Bronze Age and 542 AD. In some ways, the Bubonic Plague ended the wonderful Medieval period. The old gods die, new ones raised anew. We have no living memory of these periods.  If the world ever collapses, my book will have with it an introduction written by me about how these voices guided me to make the greatest translation in human history. 

And it will be so. I'm almost at tears to see the final product for select paragraphs that I've done. It's remarkable! I'm not that smart. No way could I have done this on my own. It's God. It's the Saints. It's the angels. God loves the Fatherland. 

And what's craziest? I did not know French starting out and could not read the first sentence - the first sentence took me 8 years to perfect. I only knew how to pronounce a lot of the words owing to my mother who never taught me French. Never took a class beyond French I! Yet it has turned out so perfectly! It's God!!

I need to channel my energies. I don't like to work at home but am doing it now because it's hard to contain myself. I get a lot of flashbacks from a lot of sexual abuse. That's why it's hard to work at home. And without external noise, I risk burning myself, which would be a sin since it's not Willed by God. I will get that from the branding. 

There will be so much more and this is such an exciting time to live in! I also got a miracle not too long ago. It was so strange. I did a polemic against Lust. That's why all of that sexual abuse happened. God needs martyrs to be pawns in order to understand what a Cardinal Sin like Lust can do. I can now teach people about the gravity of that sin. I'm very lucky!

Best,

Vanessa