Catholic Jihadist for Fatherland: a translator's saga

 So apparently I'm getting a lot of readers. I'm bordering on an anxiety attack right now from the need to charge! Guess I'll discuss past miracles, the Christmas Truce, the lessons of December 8 and 24, and the rest at some other point. I made a new word for the dictionary the other day as part of a broader set. These are root translations. The made up word will be derived one day, and I'm at peace with it. Also, I'm dealing with PRÈS that has little to do with 《 Close 》. No such root exists in English. I'm getting my knife tonight to make a super set, then prove from a conjecture that I've shown in the preliminary phase that the French language uses SELON and D'APRÈS improperly; that the usage should be inverted, dealing with roots to AUPRÈS and PRÈS.  Just going to say this much. This mission will one day be over. It will end one day. And though I somewhat yearn for that owing to the brutality of the project, I'm not sure I'll know what to do ...

 I'm working harder than ever. It makes sense as to why Saint Geneviève revealed herself to me on 14 July, Stigmata on 22 August, Saint Francis in September, Marian apparition on 1 November (to be discussed later), 6 November for the Rosary Revelation, 8 December with another Marian Sign. WORK HARDER, SACRIFICE, THE HEAVENS ARE CHEERING YOU ON, MY NESSIE!!! YOU ARE THE SACRIFICAL LAMB!! Yes, my Lord, my Mother Mary, my Saints and Saintes, I will sacrifice my existence on this Earth to fulfill my command. Yes, I will die if necessary. Yes, I will remain celibate. Yes, I will be branded like cattle. Yes, I will be an example for my compatriots, lonely as it can be, just as the monks were exemplary compared to the educated elite promoted by Platonism. Yes, there is nothing I will not do for you. This is war. My teeth could fall out.  I could vomit. I could shake. I will stare into death. This translation will get done. Thy will be done!!!!!! These Revelations from the Heavens wer...

End of the year for me is always Christmas Eve. Christ is born on Christmas, after all. And everything closes. I normally don't work at the monastery on Saturday but will do so tomorrow. It closes at 6 PM. Yesterday was great. Starved out until shaking and close to vomiting. Yes, the spiritual sacrifices to the Age of Heroism and Fatherland must be done. We shall rise again!! We need prayer, fasting, kamikazes, martyrs!! I wish I had my colonial sword for tomorrow  Sing a song to 1914!!!  https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=HRHQC_oPNLY&feature=share

 There are two that I can think of. There might be more. One is an archaic word whose etymology clearly points to something useful but which was not the original meaning. The etymology is geometric, but the method is Lazarus, since I'm bringing back to life an old word, then redefining it in a way that is useful The other method is funnier. So there's a word for straight that is 《 tout droit 》. How can that be translated and understood? You got an amplifier. You got a vector. There's a geometric object that is linked to that vector. No matter how you rotate it, spanning all continuous angles, the same still holds true. Then you pack it with something else: Juvéderm. The sum is a Blend. That's the Euclidean Method. If you're my friend, I'll derive it. If you're a striver, I'll taunt you. You'll have to buy my book to know how it gets done 😋 Sorry, not the most Christian behavior. Sometimes my aristocratic spirit comes out instead. I'm a Medieval ...

 Heavens gave me the answer yesterday morning at the very moment I popped open my computer. I was befuddled a bit during the day and groaning about working on it again. Constructed a whole new word for the English language. Solved Aussi, Si, Tant, Tellement, Tel. Playing with Autant right now. All roots reduced. Then I reduced Fort, Fort Peu, and Tout.  My work is totally, ENTIRELY carried by God. It is divinely inspired. People will see. I will serve as witness to the greatness of God and in belief in Fatherland. We will ALL bear witness to this. When I am done, I will have permission to be branded. I would like the entire Church to come, including my priest, as I'm branded with something about 450 degrees. I will not scream. I will accept all the pain that comes from this. I am property of God and Fatherland!! This is one of the greatest orchestrals ever made, the day that Padre Pio got certified as monk. When I get certified, it will be my greatest day. I want the branding ...

 And I can't sleep. Just dealing with a hard puzzle for a few days. Very demoralizing. Then I turned on the computer. Answer struck me. I have to credit the Heavens for that: Aussi, si, autant, tant, tel, tellement  And making roots for derivatives Then merging these with amplifiers. Those, I won't say a thing. Secret.  Have to guard the secret.  Eyes are getting redder. Guess I'm going to bury my head in a pillow and pray until I fall asleep. Exorcism is still working from October 2nd. It's just battle mode. Can't move further into my Glossary until I finish off this beastly set. Need to buy a sword from the 19th-Century. It might give me powers on top of the other relics!!! Sabaton's Red Baron. I might need to get in a trance tomorrow. That's exhausting. I think these sets are more complicated than the quasi-passives that I solved: God, Will, External Senses. And I'm just smirking at you like the priestly caste aristocrat that I am. You can't put t...

So many miracles have happened that it's almost too hard to document each and every one. I'll track the date for my first Mirian apparition. I questioned it, but what happened next showed to me that it was real Christmas is fast approaching. Pray, celebrate. I'll be fasting. I don't get to have vacations. That will be the case tomorrow

 Stuck on an issue: aussi, si, tant, tellement, possible intersection with trop. Might risk losing my mind. Of course I'm not joking. Priestly caste must always be militant and willing to sacrifice life to fulfill missions. It probably doesn't help that I was accused of being a hysteric, which is a common charge against mystics. These people are the Devil. There will be a solution. You can levitate if you believe enough. Some can at least. I'm also skeptical that you can just give yourself a stigmata through belief alone. And if that's true, we can learn a lot from mystics. I didn't do this to myself. Must get back to work and go into a deeper state of consciousness. I risk destroying a year of work if I can't retrace my steps. Must solve emphatic Tout and Toute. That's why I'm going off in these side battles. There could be a broader theme that I'm overlooking. Still not done with the Être cases. Mother Mary, keep me sane before I seppuku myself

 So my Dad is homeless. He contacted my mom last month. It's the first time they really talked in 30 years. I'm not sure why he would bother to come to her unless he was desperate. He has to know that she hates him. She'll be cordial but she'll mock his downfall I finally contact him after a few weeks since I wanted to wait this out, since I need diplomatic channels to stay open. My dad ghosts me a lot. I'm finally fed up and send him an uncharacteristically short text: "Dad, tell me what's going on?" And he responds the next day. He won't take my money. Why? I don't know. I do admonish him that Pride is a cardinal sin. All the while, I have to hear my mother mock him. Yes, my dad suffered from the cardinal sin of Lust. I do point out to her that she suffers from Wrath. She mocks me. I tell her to see a priest. "My church is in my own home." I derisively respond "That's called Protestantism!!!" My husband and I are scram...

 It's 9 December, same day as I waited 12 hours too long to produce the Blessed Mother's Rosary... My brother's childhood best friend and I are texting. I ask if it's true of what I heard that he has cancer again. Yup - stage 4 stomach. Again... If I'm getting all of these signs, visions, revelations, then that comes with a lot of responsibility. Can I help him pray away his cancer? Do I have those powers? Am I obliged to try? How? Should I go visit him? He's the only one who really knows the dirty family secrets of my brother covering up pedophilia in the family. When he told me that two years ago, that he tried to rescue me, that my brother stopped him from doing so, it was a HUGE amount of weight lifted from me. I understood then and there that my brother and mother had conspired against me.  I told him about Saint Padre Pio and the miracles. I sent him a movie about his life in Italy. We both have long wondered why my mother used to spoil my brother so much,...

Part II: Recap: 8 December was a day of two good works, Mirian Sign, call to make Rosary. 9 December was the day that I decided to do it, and it was too late (for at least a few weeks) 10 December: I woke up that day to a very Heavenly dream. It's hard to describe this, except that I had various dreams for days of religious themes. My 10 December started with a BEAUTIFUL piano piece playing in my dream. It was so beautiful. Since I have no auditory memory, can't play any musical instrument, and certainly never heard that piece, what else was it but from God? Husband and I go to the grocery store. I must admit that I was a total bitch that morning. Just drinking a pot of coffee, having Medieval rage and condescension at my husband, and on 9 December, I set up a portrait of Mary on my phone that I see every minute that is a mirror into my own soul. I knew I was being spiteful. It was hard to know why.  At the store, he got really upset at me, taking a break, and I calmed down sin...

Part I:  8 December was a day I'd never forget. Maybe I've been uncharacteristically silent for a few days since and have forced myself to write this.  Day started early. I go to 7/11 to get a carton of cigarettes used to sustain my sanity during the Glossary Phase of my project. Upon leaving, I see this special needs black kid on my rental scooter. He tells me he wants to ride it. As he approached closer asking for a cigarette - I give him 5 - he smelled really badly. Now, I'll often call people in their early 20's kids. But he was really mentally a child. He tells me that he needs a phone to ride it. I tell him that the scooter probably won't work if he rides it too far from my phone. And really, those things can be scary if you don't know what you're doing. I freeze it. But we talk. It was fine. 5 minutes. Give him a bit of time. I got to get to work soon Probably 4 hours later in mortification, I see this white guy struggling to park his truck. I guide h...

 Not going to write much. First, Dad is in an emergency. Dude wants to go out Wild West style. Husband and I are in talks about what to do since he's refusing our help. Haven't seen him in 13 years (coincidence here) and only for 5 minutes at that. Saw my half brother as a toddler only that one time. And I need to get back to translating. Hard to sleep with this all going on.  Husband and I were talking. He's asking about my religious views. They make sense but they're complicated because they're unconventional for a Western Catholic. But we did talk and I said something like "I still want to know who fixed our bath tub. I heard that Saint Francis of Assisi can do that.  I got no verification." He googles and finds Saint Vincent Ferrer. He's like "You'd like this guy." I ate around that point, having been up since 10 PM the night before, slept, woke up at midnight, slept again. I look at Saint Ferrer and if I was drinking coffee (it was b...

 Just going to make a quick remark. My mother was livid that I would dare assist my dad. Look, my dad is the only one of my family to have ever treated me like a rational human being. Why? My mom and brother both made an identity rooted in victimhood about my dad having left, which I never took personally. She indulged my brother's every vice and still, to this day, covers for the sexual abuse he did to me. Ok, whatever. She made a huge deal about my dad paying for his sin of Lust. I agree. Lust is a terrible sin. Wrath in my childhood family was much worse. Any form of vice on my brother's end was met with an excuse - his dad isn't there. She never sat down my brother to tell him that his lack of father figure is his Passion. She never told him to rise above adversity. She accepted everything from his violence, petty criminality, sexual abuse, pornography use, even his plot to have her be murdered and chronic alcoholism. Me? She attacked me over and over again, tried to un...

Prior to starting, I'm going to say that I hate reading Reddit threads of the feud between mysticism and scholasticism. Catholicism is for everyone. We all serve a function in the House of God. Finally, at the risk of sounding divisive, please consider how stupid it is to reject mysticism and to be a practicing Catholic. It's inherently mystical. The idea of rationalizing the irrational makes no sense to me except through implication of our Fallen nature.  Some remarked that one should keep mystical experiences to themselves. It's a mark of humility. Sure, but I will proselytize through deeds and revelation. God found me. I didn't exactly search for God in this. I do understand, however, the risk of that horrible sin "envy." It just breaks my heart. That's why I do a lot of alms. It's just a horrible thing for others to experience. I understand that others would like a mystical experience or experiences, but not everyone is cut out for that. That doesn...

 Just like the three white crystals of my rosary connects the Fatima children and Our Lady of Fatima (Miracle) with the Son of God (Salvation) - crystals through which one can see for the Leap of Faith - I will have to take the Walk over the next few days. It could require that I retreat - I have done so before - or I could go so far into this path that I risk falling off the ledge, undoing over one year of work in my Glossary. I must log every case of Être, how it interacts with adjectives and pseudo-adjective substantives, organize them in terms of tense, mood, objects. I feel that I have enough wisdom now from my recent foray with Pouvoir. I will need the help from the angels and the Heavens. Anything short of this will not be enough.  This isn't the most complicated class technically, but it is the most convoluted, by far, with no rival. I'm tempted to burn myself, but it would be preferable that I drink from my Grail of Saint Francis of Assisi. I risk knocking out a few t...

 I veer towards the monastic and the charismatic. It's my inclination. Having been able to retrace the three days of my Stigmata formed from the vertical of the Cross of Lorraine, that was a really profound experience that I'll never ever forget. It was midday. I'm smoking, as I do during my translation breaks, pacing to and fro maybe 50 feet, ready to solve another problem, and I'm pounding music like always (the charismatic). Then I saw the visual of her burning at the stake.  I'll never know if the Stigmata formed before, during, or after that visual. I just know that I had to keep working. Looking at the texts now, it seems that my phone was not working. At 4:43 PM did I get bombed with texts. Strange. It's not that that never happens - it's not super rare but it's rare - but it did happen on that day. I have never noticed that before. No wonder he could not distract me with his obligations. Phone was fine. Internet was fine. No texts came... Anyway,...

 It's nice to have two flame point siamese cats given to me by Saint Francis. It took me a few years to piece that together. I won't discuss the miracle for now since I'm working and am in a pretty cool mode of perpetual tranquility. It's just nice that these buddies joined me on my monastic journey

 Figured out all the many variances of Pouvoir. On that note, glad I held my fire despite others telling me to shoot - shouldn't translate these as a modal. That left me with a gap, now fulfilled. Logging all of those. I just need to keep my emotions in check. Met a lot of great adults 20 years ago who helped me a lot. I never asked for their names and I'm facially blind anyway. Hope some in town can help me find them. This project is fulfillment of Destiny.  After this, back to the interrogatives https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Up63Eey3sTo&feature=share

 Nope. Didn't work out. It was an 8 hour exercise of an inversion that I constructed as a relative pronoun that doesn't exist in English. And that's OK!! It might be very useful in the future.  That's how the process goes. And what's more important: I'm one step closer to the truth. The light in this cave is ever-brighter. I can see more and more. There's always a dark cave somewhere. You make paths, weak fires, try tricks, pray (and sometimes the answer comes!! - and sometimes the answer is meant to get you to a better position, like now!), keep working.  The cave gets brighter and brighter. Then you can see a greater reality. Then you can break free!! Going to sleep for a few hours. Totally motivated!! Might have to dance with my Relic tomorrow (which is whenever I wake up!) Update: will get up. Brush hair. Pack bags. Might not take the time on teeth. Doesn't matter to me. That's my life. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your body and health to do t...